"I can't stay here..."

It was one of those simple declarative statements we'd come to dread from Jenny. She'd let this one go after a spell of consideration when we joined her in the hydrotherapy tub for our Monday 'sitz'.

"Not that we didn't see this coming up the Long Island... Sound... Expressway... but is there any particular reason why you'd want to check out of a hospital against medical advice... again?"

Jenny poked at the calf muscle trapped in its cage while considering a reply - always a good idea to taunt an angry piranha.

"I just can't stay here," she sighed. "I've just had my fill of this place... Anyway... with this leg in a brace there's not much they can do that a visiting nurse couldn't do... I want to go home."

"You're not looking to leave on account of Doug Montelli? We'd understand but..."

"Oh... No... it's not on account of him... I'm not exactly thrilled at the prospect of being around him with all that's been going on... but... no... It was... Well, I'd heard one of the nurses mention that Van Delay finally come out of paralysis and was coming up here. He's... Oh I just can't face him... not after I flaked out on him like that... He was the only person who had any faith in me... I can't stay here."

"Look Jenny, we'll back you up whatever you want to do... but dammit... you can't keep letting these people run you out of town! You got as much right to be here as he does! Let him go to Warm Springs with the rest of the cripples... or go to Saratoga if he's really got to be in New York State so badly..."

"Oh... look... well it's my problem not his... Anyway I gotta work on that stupid serialization thing... I'd be better off doing that at home. Especially if Drake is gonna show up on visiting days to genuflect to the old man... Uck... that's a whole 'nuther can of worms..."

"If that's how you want it..."

"That's how I want it. How am I supposed to get better if I hafta keep looking over my shoulder? I just can't stay here."

"Guess that's that... We don't hafta go right now do we? At least you can give everybody some time to get ready... Let your parents set up a sick room for you..."

"I think I heard them say he'd be here on the tenth... I suppose I can hold out till he actually gets here... You know... you guys don't hafta leave if you don't want to. It's my sulk, not yours..."

"Oh... Jenn... it's no fun being here without your sunny presence... not that we aren't curious to meet up with the rock your self esteem was so cruelly dashed upon..."

With an 'Arrgh! Me ship is going down matey!', Jenny sunk by the head into the tub, adding a spout of air to emphasize her foundering. She always could do a good shipwreck. Learned it from newsreels.

"Hello N'eddie... I'm sending back the manuscript with edit marks for a six week, eight week or ten week run. I know you like to pad these out, but I figure this is a summer story and the readers are gonna want to wrap this up before labor day..."

Jenny was home on the phone, sitting in a wicker chair at the window of the family sun porch. A delivery man was outside waiting for Jenny to finish some paperwork and pass him the package.

"I should also mention that I'd found exactly twenty-seven occurrences of the word 'literally'. Please tell Miss Kircherr that unless she's prepared to make with a few figuratives in the mix, they're all out..."

Just about every editor in the publishing racket has a 'sacred cow', a word they don't like their writing staff to use. Jenny's was 'literally'. Oh, how she hated that way TV news people abused that word. We remember on one visit to the NBC studios seeing the anchors Brinkley and Huntley franticly leaf through their scripts upon the sight of Jenny on the set.

Oddly enough, when Jenny was asked to be one of the judges for one of Panorama's writing contests, she picked a story fairly larded with literally. It was a Holden Caulfield-esque narrative about a Greenwich Village cafe frequented by working men and 'Art Farts' and how the Art Farts would 'literally' chase after the working men from counter to booth trying to strike up an 'honest' conversation. The winner not only had it published in Panorama but got a professional recording of the story for radio that Jenny used to play it all the time... figuratively speaking.

"That's nice of her to ask, but I don't think I'm gonna be up to anything like that. I'm still pretty weak right now..."

Jenny explained to us that Eloise had invited her to some sort of party to celebrate the first week's release of the serialization. There was no way she was going to go to that.

There was no way short of death Jenny was going to miss out on a backyard pool full of muscle manly pulchritude. The girl has her priorities, you know.

Having sent the delivery man on his way, Jenny scooched the chair back to a spot away from the door to join us in restful vegetation. The sun porch had been Jenny's decorating responsibility when the Platts took over this house and she had done it up to resemble the Café Parisian on board the Titanic, replete with wicker furniture, with the walls, the wet bar and even the ceiling covered in trellis-work. A model of 'the largest civilian submarine ever built' sat on a little white shelf bolted to the chimney wall.

Also in the room and at total odds with the decor was a rented hospital bed and an air conditioner mounted on in the far corner of the porch - the one side you couldn't see from the driveway. This was Jenny's sick room for the summer. Even though the bathroom was only a few steps away the living room Jenny kept a chamber pot on standby next the bed. At least the bushes in front of the house would get some fertilizer.

"Hey Jenny, remember that one time there was a sudden downpour and this nun was walking past the house and you called her over so she could take shelter under the porch?"

"Oh yeah, Sister Mulhern..."

"Yeah, she just clambered right through the window. Didn't even want to go for the door..."

"That's got to be one of the more incongruous things I ever saw... There's some lemonade in the fridge down there if you want to fortify it with a little something from the bar..."

We mixed a little Stoli and lemonade for Jenny opting for some 'fortified' iced tea ourselves. Lunch was cheese and crackers for us and tea biscuits for Jenny - she liked to dip them in the lemonade.

"My grandmother told me of this one visit to Berlin where one of the department stores had a drinking fountain with lemonade in it..."

Jenny's voice trailed off as a black Cadillac that had overshot the corner stopped, backed up to the front of our house and parked. It's probably unnecessary to note that a red-haired girl alighted from the back, bearing what looked like those wire and paper food buckets you get from Chinese restaurants. Such was Jenny's luck this summer.

"Oh gawd, please don't let those be snails in there. I do not need to get a whiff of that today..."

Ringing the bell and waggling the bucket, she trilled, "Hello-o-o-o! I brought sna-a-ails," followed by a 'Hello?' when she didn't get a response. She plucked one of the larger snail tchotckes from it's planter home to consider it's food value.

"Oooh, if you were real, I could just eat... you... up!"

"Put the snail down," commanded a disembodied voice over the intercom. Avi had just set up that and a push-button door unlocker for Jenny. Emily let out another quizzical 'Hello?' while looking around for Jenny.

Jenny sighed as she considered her next move.

"Ugh... I feel so bad about not liking her as much as I do... Why'd she hafta bring snails? I mean... really... what kind of person brings snails... to a sick person no less..."

"Same kind that serves 'em at a party? But what did we know? We're from Oklahoma. We eat cows and chickens..."

Jenny groaned this time, touched the intercom button and with a low robotic tone, got straight to the point, "What do you want?"

"We're kinda wondering where you've been for the last couple of weeks. Van DeLay has been asking about you..."

Jenny whispered "Is she daft?" to us with the intercom turned off before returning to Emily.

"Uhm... I don't work for you guys... You remember... my contract expired?"

"Well... I had a talk with dad... and he was willing to think about taking up his renewal option... "

Turning to us Jenny hissed, "This is exactly why I wanted to leave Idyllbrook... I did not want to have this conversation... Uck... What is he thinking? That I'm just going to come back to their place like nothin' ever happened? I am to old for this sh..."

"How's about the fifth of Nev-em-ber?" Jenny gave us a dirty look as she cut off the intercom. We shot back with our 'Hey, we couldn't resist' look.

Jenny kept silent for a minute, long enough for Emily to get a little more persistent and start rapping on the door.

"Hello-o-o-o...? Jen?"

"I suppose I'd better let her in and be done with it... Man I hate to have her see me like this... liable to think I got something from Van DeLay..."

Jenny futzed with the folds of her Montgomery Wards 'kimono' bathrobe to cover up her leg bandage - at least she was out of that nasty metal contraption.

"I'm gonna buzz you in..."

Jenny pushed another button and we heard a buzzing at the front door and we heard Emily jiggle the knob, but apparently...

"Uh... Jen? It's not working... Think maybe you could come to the door and let me in?"

"Uh... not really... Lemme try it again..."

Buzz-z-z-z... Jiggle, jiggle... Rap, rap, rap... "It's not working! Can't you just come to the door?"

"I really don't want to do that... Maybe you could..."

"Oh come on! Hey I stuck up for you..."

"....come over to the window."

Emily didn't hear that last part because Avi's intercom system finally gave up the ghost. Jenny looked like she wasn't too far behind. Emily rapped on the door a couple more times before storming off the stairs, half angry and half upset. We soon saw her pacing the driveway in direct line with the sun porch windows. All Jenny would've had to do is open it and call her over...

"I guess it's just as well... I am so damned tired..."

"I suppose she'll hate me now... Damn her... Damn the whole lot of them... Why can't they just leave me alone?"

The day's drama was far from over, it was merely taking a lunch break. From the sound of Jamie's truck pulling into the driveway, it looked to be a working lunch at that. We scooched our chair over to the window to catch the floor show.

Act One - Our hero Mann Candee alights from his faithful steed, in this case, an army green Jeep pickup truck. We must confess right now to a long time crush on Jenny's little brother - he was a pleasing sort of a mix between a young Jimmy Stewart and that kid who played TV's 'Wally' Cleaver, Tony Dow. As spoiled as we were with the cowboys and oil field workers around our ranch, it's really nice to see the same handsome body type not so thickly covered in mud and horse shit. Sadly, with him being Jenny's brother as well as good friends with our brother Avi, apart from some good-natured flirting, he would be an unrequited lust of ours.

Act Two - Our Hero spots the damsel in distress, but is the Lady in Red really what she seems? One of the impressions we got from Jenny dealings with Emily is that the girl pretty much sees the uniform and not the person wearing it. We couldn't help wondering what she'd make of Jamie's 'uniform' of blue shirt, tan chinos and brown loafers topped by a yellow construction hat.

"Why, hello thar! Been waiting long?"

Come to think of it, we couldn't help wondering what he'd make of Emily. Nothing in our correspondences with Jenny over the last six months indicated he even knew about her.

"Uhm... Are you doing some sorta work here? 'Cuz she's not letting anybody in..."

Pulling out his keychain and making like he was looking for the right key from the dozen or so on the ring he noted helpfully, "That's shouldn't a problem... I think I've got the key... Say... I haven't seen you around here before. You one of Janice's friends?"

"No, I'm looking for Jenny. She hasn't been to work in a while and I wanted to check in on her..."

He stopped fumbling with his keys and put them back into his pocket.

"That's funny, I thought she wasn't working anymore. Something about a contract being up..."

"Well that was something I wanted to discuss with her... Hey, shouldn't you park that in the street? You've got their driveway all blocked up..."

"Oh, they don't mind. Anyway, I was just gonna be in and out... Excuse me a sec..."

Spotting us, he ambled over towards the sun porch window, held his hand to his eye and peeked inside as flagrantly as possible. Winking at us, he looked over at Jenny, who was too tired to respond, before returning to Emily.

"You certainly have nerve. What'd ya do that for?"

"Sorry about that... I was checking in on my sister. She hasn't been feeling too good lately... You said you wanted to look in on her?"

Emily's face, looking a little piqued at having been given the business, visibly reset itself when she realized she wasn't dealing with 'the help'.

"What... You're her brother? So... what the hell happened to her?"

"Oh, she just wore herself out... Needs to rest up for a spell..."

We should note as an aside that Jamie, in trying to keep some aspect of Jenny's condition private, unwittingly played right into that rumor going around that Jenny had been having an affair with Van DeLay, who'd put down 'exhaustion' as his 'official' medical condition.

"It's not catching is it?"

"Catching? No... Haven't you see the news? She'd gotten herself lost at sea... wore herself out trying to get back to shore..."

"I must've missed that... I really don't keep up on the news... So... uh... you live around here?"

"Yeah... Well... I've been pretty busy... really haven't had time to look for a place... Almost had a place, but before I could sign the lease, the City had slapped a condemnation order on the front door. Somebody's gettin' a new high school..."

"Yeah, I'm stuck at home too. I'd asked Jenny if maybe she'd want to go halves on a place down in the Village. She got really evasive about that... Wish I could figure here out...."

"Escargot. I remember her mentioning something about liking snails, so I brought a little peace offering... They're pretty good..."

"Oh, you couldn'tve picked a worse peace offering if you tried! She likes snails all right, but not for eatin'... might as throw them in the bay..."

"Oh... great... I'd invited her to this party a few months ago... she must've taken one look at the table setting and left without even saying anything... she probably hates me now..."

"Oh, I don't think it's as bad as all that... One of the people where Jenny worked invited her to a costume party... she went as a waitress and when she got there, they went and sent her straight into the kitchen! What really got her upset was that next day at work... whoever invited her got all indignant and demanded to know why she never showed up."

"No... Way... Well, why didn't she say anything?"

"That's just not her way... I only found out about it on account of some lady calling the house... Seems Jenny had left without getting paid..."

Emily looked like she'd swallowed one of her snails, shell and all when she realized that was her party he was talking about.

"Not her way? She should've said something... give someone a chance to make good... you know?"

"Well... When she's really hurt like that, she doesn't want to give the other guy the satisfaction of knowing he'd got to her. That's just her way... From what I'd been able to get out of her she'd got the impression that everyone resented her being there anyway..."

"A lot of people were sore that she was kept on after half the office had been laid off but I was trying to include her in stuff."

"Yeah... That just makes it even worse for her. When we were kids, we'd go up to our grandparents... they lived in Glen Cove, pretty ritzy town. The kids there would be nice and ask her to play but she always felt like they were 'making an exception' and she didn't care for that."

"The funny thing is... she can take a lot abuse from people - her grandmother used to lean on her something awful - but some little slight will set her off and she'll cut you off flat... About a dozen years ago... Jenny had gotten back from some 'elocution lesson' grandmother made her go to... well there was this one little crumb cake left and Jenny wanted it but so did her cousin Bitsey..."

"Well Jenny's other grandparents were pretty religious and she picked up on the concept of 'breaking bread' with someone so instead of getting a knife she broke the thing in half with her hand..."

Making a motion with his hands to demonstrate he continued.

"Well grandmother just went off on her, saying that she only did that so that Bitsey wouldn't want the other half... Without saying a word, Jenny walked over to the kitchen door, chucked the cake out into the backyard and calmly went upstairs to her room."

"Few minutes later, she'd packed her grip and was out the door herself. Girl walked halfway across Long Island before she was able to pick up the train at Westbury. She was still sore enough, by the time she got home, that she'd piled everything her grandmother had ever given her into a big ole' box and either mailed it or tossed it, I forget. Refused to ever see her again... wouldn't take Christmas presents or nothin'. One time mom tried to trick her into going up there, Jenny tried to jump out of the car while it was still moving. Just didn't like being called dirty."

"Her own grandmother? That's pretty harsh don'tcha think?"

"Yeah... well... it's like they always say... it was the principle of the thing... oh say... I better get back to work... Dad's got me helping them lay steel for the new Penn Station... It's a fun job once you get used to people giving you the finger all the time. You'd think the railroad didn't offer to sell the dump to the City if they wanted it that bad..."

"My work is nearby if you want someone to ride with..."

"Isn't that your Caddy over there?"

"Oh that's my dad's... I can send him home. Besides, I've always wanted to ride in a truck..."

"Looks like your brother is gonna take one for the team," we noted to Jenny as his truck backed out of the driveway with Jamie and Emily talking to each other like they were just about to fall in love.

Tonight's dinner was a fun one at least. Cheryl, Jenny's friend in Chicago, had sent her some cooking pans for their style of pizza and Jenny was keen on breaking them in. It seems our fellow Midwesterners in the Windy City like a lot of fixin's in theirs and aren't shy about piling it on and neither was Jenny - she had ground hamburger as well as some sausage links cooking on the stove with the pizza crusts 'par baking' in the oven as she sliced some pepperoni sausages, and the Mozzarella cheese.

Since we couldn't have meats with ours she sliced some peppers, onions and tomatoes to go in our pie. As Jenny laid the layers of meat, sauce, veggies and cheese into the crusts, she and we amused ourselves by trying to list the layers of the geologic time scale - Precambrian, Protozoic, Cambrian, Devonian, Silurian, Carboniferous, Triassic, Jurassic, Cretaceous - it's been a while, so we probably missed quite a few.

Jenny's parents had opted for a dinner and a show in The City so it was just us and the boys. Of course, Avi and Jamie manage to show up just in time to get out of having to set the table - they must have some sort of special homing transponder built into their stomachs. Not that Jenny didn't mind having some men to cook for. For all the time and energy she'd put into being an architect and engineer she really did go in for all that mothering stuff. We figure it was on account of having been raised by one of those 'independent woman' types while all her friends were raised by hausfraus, but that's just a guess.

"You know Jamie... a thought occurred to me..." Once she had his attention, she tucked in a forkful before continuing. "I still have the key to that apartment Van DeLay set up for me... Way I figure it... there's still a couple months left on the lease... You might as well have a place in the city if you're gonna be running around with that Emily kid... It's furnished and everything. Even has a garage in the basement..."

"Gee Jen... that's swell... but I only just met the girl! A little soon to be feathering up a love nest don'tcha think?"

"Oh good heavens, the girl came up here in a chauffeur driven Cadillac! You think she's gonna swap that for a ride in a clanky old pickup just on my account? She's cutting you from the herd and picking out her riding outfit. I guar-un-damn-tee you lunchtime tomorrow she'll 'just happen' to show up at Penn Station with a sodie and an extra sammich for ya..."

"Well how do you like that," he mused as he readied another cut of meat-pie for chewing. "From what she was telling me, I got the feeling there was some sort of bad blood between the two of you. She said you were giving her the business with that door unlocker thing..."

Jenny shot a dirty look at Avi as she took a moment to collect her thoughts on Emily.

"Look... I don't like her all that much - she's not someone I'd be inclined to make friends with - but my beef is with her old man. I do not like him at all..."

"Yeah, they had a big fight that last Monday. He tried to take that building project she was working on. Something about it being 'company property'..."

Jenny gave us her 'do we really have to go into that again' look accompanied by a weary sigh.

"She did mention something about him maybe wanting you to come back..."

"Yeah... well he's probably only worried about Van DeLay..."

Looking down at her chest she added, "Anyway... that was pretty much decided for me, now wasn't it? I just don't have the heart for it anymore..."

After another bite she decided, "I was thinking... Maybe you better just give that key back to her if you see her again. I remember her making noises about wanting a place of her own..."

The next day Jamie returned from work to find Jenny in her bed which was set to the reclining position. Without a word he lobbed an empty coke bottle with a wad of wax paper sticking out the top like a Molotov cocktail into a surprised Jenny's lap.

"At least she didn't offer you snails... What'd you do about that key?"

"Oh I let her have it. Her mom's got some sort of 'tell all' book coming out... I'm guessing she wants somewhere to hide out for the summer... That was a really nice place. You should've taken it..."

Stretching her arms like a game show prize girl, she replied, "What... and give up all this? Anyway at least she's forgotten about me..."

"Well... she did bring up the subject of you coming back..."

"Geeze... You'd think they could take a hint by now... Didn't you tell her I wasn't feeling so good?"

"Oh, if I wanted to say anything to them I woulda said something to them... I'm not gonna use you as a go-between. You know I don't do that..."

"Yeah... but you think maybe you ought to settle this thing once and for all? I'm kinda starting to like that girl. Wouldn't be right to string her along... and I sure wouldn't want to find out she'd been only going around with me just to get to you."

"Oh... She never struck me as a scheming woman. Besides, I don't think she's all that clever... A little on the frugal side... Look... I'm done with them. I don't wanna talk to them or work for them or nuthin'... I'm done with them."

As if worn out from dealing with the whole sordid affair, Jenny lowered her bed about halfway to the sleeping position.

"I can't tell you what to do about her but don't hurt her if there's no call for it. And don't bring her around here... at least not while I'm laid up like this... Stacy was supposed to come over with her fondue set. If I'm not up when she gets here, just prop me up in the corner and say you're having a Dead Jennifer party..."

"Dead Jennifer party? When you put it that way, it's a sure bet you'll be the sensation of the Smart Set. Get your friend N'eddie to print up some flyers and maybe slip something into the Society page... Why no party'd be complete without your non-present appearance..."

"Guess you could say my attendance would be de rigueur mortis..."

"Rigor mortis and tenon..."

"Tenon... Tenon... tenon tenon tenon - tenon teno-o-o-o-n..." For a movie Jenny didn't care much for, she certainly enjoyed the theme song.

"Hey, how 'bout a Dead Jennifer Saint Vitus Dance party?" We had to contribute something.

For an idea of the level of humor the Jenny and her circle of friends live on we should note the time Jenny managed to get hold of a pad of those inmate disciplinary action sheets the guards used at the county jail. There was a box for all the things prison offenses to check off and we all had fun filling out a form for each other, going straight to the sex and poor hygiene stuff. A merry band of filthy, self-abusing buggerers were we.

Jenny balked at the idea of being stuffed into a body bag and a coffin seemed like overkill but she was amenable to being wheeled in on a gurney covered with a plain gray blanket. To settle the 'problem' of propping Dead Jennifer™ into a chair at the party, Jen and Stacy roughed out the idea of a wheelchair that could be folded flat for 'transporting the decedent' - or was it a gurney with sections that could be folded upright?

Stacey was a fast prototypist and had a working gurney-chair ready in time for Dead Jennifer's™ season debut at N'eddie's big man-candy pool party. As promised, N'eddie had a selection of European bodybuilders preening and posing for the delection of us, Jenny, Stacy and Ezzie, who'd made a special pilgrimage from Marble Hill bearing a tureen of her famous 'Sve-e-disha Meet-a balls' , the tureen with snails on the handles that Jenny had lent her years ago and never got around to asking for it back. So Ezzie got to kill two birds with one stone.

"You know," not-quite-so-dead Jennifer ruminated from a pool float to no-one in particular. "I get the funniest association when you mention muscle magazines... There was this grubby little kid over by Lake Ronkonkoma... well he'd gone and strangled his little brother's girlfriend for no reason. No reason at all... Well when he was done with her, he waddled over to the supermarket and bought himself a muscle magazine to jack off to. I can still see him with a sammich in one hand - cuz in my story he's a porker - and flopping open the rolled up magazine with the other..."

Needless to say, Jenny had the imagined motion with his hand pretty well memorized from the way she mimicked it. We'd all long forgotten the names of killer and killed but she still remembered that the hump went and bought a damned muscle magazine afterwards. Some things just make an impression.

"I love it how you'll put some everyday object in the middle of violence," Ezzie observed. "She did this staged crime scene for an art project in school. She got her cousin Elizabeth and this girl from class... Ashleigh, I think... she got em to lay on a those stretchers they take dead people out on... I think the story was a prostitute and her little kid got whacked... Real bloody... fingerprints on the wall and everything. Right in the middle of all this was an Easter basket on the supper table..."

"She did that with those kids that got killed on the Long Island," N'eddie added. "Got a picture of just a hand reaching down for onea those noisemaker thingies..."

Jenny reached backwards for the diving board when another thought hit her.

"There's a funny thing... You know how the eggheads all complain about suburban conformity... and how everyone's alike? I have yet to walk into somebody's house and see something I've got myself. I mean... how many kinds of radios do they make? I bought one... a popular model, so I was told... and there was a dozen just like it on the shelf. Have yet seen another one like it on the streets... Say-y-y where'd you pick up that scar?"

We'd noticed that one of the German muscle men calling himself 'Heiner' had been eying Jenny for most of the afternoon. He'd finally worked up the nerve to wade out to Jenny for a closer look. It was only fair - Ezzie had been using the excuse of poor eyesight on account of that childhood incident of hers to get up real close to them.

"Ya, you notice... I got dis von eina konstruktion-zufallen!" Heiner was about as proud of his brush with death as Ezzie was with hers. She had cut Laszlo, the Hungarian bodybuilder, from the pack and was telling him her life story.

"I fell von ze dachboden on zis metal bars..." He turned to show Jenny the matching scar on his back. "Look! Es went right through me!"

"Oh! Yeah... now I remember! You were that poor fellow we had to pull out... Some people I know were talking about that a little over a month ago... Say... you've made quite a recovery! Didn't recognize you with all that beefcake on ya..."

"Ya... Ya! Ach... Ya! Dis iz fantastic! I vuz hoping I gets to see you again. Vhen my manager said I was going to get to go to the New York, I asked him if it vass anywhere near zee Amityfillz. He said he did not know and zatt I should not be getting all of my hopes up because America is really big country... Ach... I wuz like little kinder on the Christmas morgan on zee ride all zee way aus zu here... You look different mittout your hair in za pferdchen-schwanzen..."

"Yeah... I've been kinda letting things fall by the wayside... I've been really ill for the last month..."

"Ahhh... das iss to bad to be hearing zatt. Vass iss de los?"

"It's a long story that ended up with me getting a heart attack and this bum leg." Jenny proffered the bandaged leg for his inspection. "I'm really sorry I couldn'tve made a better appearance for you seeing as you'd been so looking forward to meeting me..."

"Oh, I wouldn'tve missed today if you'd put six feet of dirt on top of me." Jenny reached up to grab hold of his hand so she could pull herself nearer for a better look at him "My god... look at those arms... What'd you do... stick your hand up a python's ass? It's like you're wearing a shirt made out of muscles!"

Even with Heiner's seemingly limited grasp of the English language, he could dope out that she was paying him a compliment.

"Well I was a pretty strong man before the falling but I had to do a lot of exercises to get back my arm so I say to myself, 'Heiner... why not see how much more muscle you can make. You've got the time now'."

"You certainly made a lot of them in a only a couple of years! That stomach's like a scientific instrument..."

"Too bad they don't have an excercise for the one man-muscle I care about," taunted Ezzie. "Not that you don't put the 'hunk' in Hungarian my meaty little plate of goulash..."

"Ya they do," Laszlo replied. "...but you really need a partner for that one and it's not exactly something you want to ask another guy to help you with..."

"You could alway do a few more clean and jerks," we added. "Hmmm... that should probably be jerk and clean."

"Ya... well I don't like to do sex when I'm in competion," opined Heiner as he swirled Jenny, who'd latched onto his waist with her legs, around in a lazy semicircle. "It breaks my concentration and anyways I'm just an old-fashioned boy..."

"Speak for yourself," Jenny chided. 'Sex if life and if you don't have some sort of place for it you might as well not be living. Don't get me wrong, I'm no Lulu Schön and I'm certainly no Eloise Kirker... but I do get a little minky now and then..."

"Hey... if you put anything in her, you better make sure it stays in her," Neddie reprimanded. "Other people might wanna use that pool!"

"We're not doing any spawning Miss Edelson," Jenny replied in her innocent schoolgirl voice. "We're just doing pool swirlies... Honest!"

And so our midsummer frolic paused for refreshments as Claus and Søren went to fetch us some sodies. To their credit, they returned with a Coke each for both of us - lots of people forget and just bring us one. As they went to drink theirs they looked around and back at each other and said something in Danish that from their enthusiasm we figured was something like 'Would you believe we're having a Coke in America?'.

"Say... How far away is Oklahoma from here?"

"About a half a day by plane. Maybe a couple hours if you take a jet. Why do ya ask?"

"We was hoping to get to see some real live cowboys."

"We've got a ranch a few miles out of OK City... Yeah, we just come out here to get out of everyone's way during the summer. Say-y-y... you guy twins? More important are you guys dating anyone?"

They were single and twins, so we flirted a little more with them. One thing led to another and one of them got around to asking how we handled dating and more importantly...

"What do you do about the lovemaking? Assuming you can do the lovemaking..."

"We just let nature take its course.. If it's one guy and we're both into him we just take turns. If we're with two guys they take turns... or find some other accomodations...."

While Claus straddled our lap and played with our boobs, Søren stepped behind us to look for the 'other accomodations'. Now we had meant by 'other accomodations' that we'd sit in one guy's lap while the other one worked us over from the front, but he'd figured on something else.

"Hey Claus... look at this," Søren blurted out while gripping the sides of our heads, he began dry humping us behind the crack of our necks adding grunts and making the 'Japanese face' for effect.

"You laugh... but you're not the first guy that's tried that with us! Of course, they're usually pretty loaded by the time they think that up..."

As we were enjoying our man sandwich, we glanced over to Jenny who was using Heiner's body to launch her and her pool float across the pool kicking against him like a springboard.

They stood to our sides and made the standard muscleman pose which we used like those gymnastic rings to pull ourselves up. We'd come prepared so we put our dive masks and snorkels before hitting the drink. Claus and Søren followed and we found ourselves a spot in the shallows away from Jenny and Heiner.

"Wow... This is just like we were at a Hollywood mansion!"

They weren't too far off. N'eddie's house was one of those Nineteen twenties Tudor style places that we'd long associated with the stuff they built in La-la land. Now that the place had a pool, all you'd need are some palm trees to complete the illusion. We showed them an illusion of our own - we have this breathing trick where we make one of our snorkels spout a geyser and then the other.

"Does that mean one of you can breath in while the other breathes out?"

"No... that's the trick part... we pretty much hafta breath at the same time but one of us can delay... we block it in the throat... we got a cigarette trick too... Say if you really wanna see cowboys there's a stagecoach ride over at Freedomland..."

"Is that part of the Worlds Fair? We're doing a muscle show over that place..."

"No... it's an amusement park over in the Bronx... sort of our Disneyland," interrupted Jenny from her drifting float. With an implied wink she added, "I see you kids have done all right for yourselves..."

"Disneyland? Like in California?" Some Danish crosstalk followed by "That's where the surfing is!"

"Ya know you can do that here too!" Pointing towards the south she added, "We got the Atlantic Ocean right over there... they don't call this Fun City for nuthin'..."

"Yeah, haven't you seen the papers," we added. "There was this big fuss last month over this surfer that got rescued out in the bay..."

More astonished Danish cross talk with the words 'Surf Angel' audible somewhere in between. Hearing that, Jenny pushed herself back towards the deep end to play some more with Heiner.

Rolling herself off the float and into the drink she called out,"Hey Heiner! Kommen sie heir. There something I wanted to figure out and I need your help..."

Trying to wrestle a man twice your bulk with neither of you having any reserve buoyancy into a very buoyant pool float is about as hard as it looks but Jenny had found a way to do it. Pulling him backwards onto her boy she rolled him him to one side and scissor-kicked the two of them into a lazy circle to build up some working momentum so she could wedge the float between her and him.

Through this we notice she made no attempt to touch his left arm, presumably that wounded surfer had enough lucidity to cry out in pain. Clinging to Heiner, Jenny rested for a minute to work out another problem - how to get him to shore. With a choppy sea keeping him in the float and being able to make for the shore would be difficult at best if she could only hold him on one side of his body. She had that figured out too. Clamping her knees at his waist, she found that she could propel the both of them with her arms and keep a reasonably stable course back to the shallow end.

Whatever triumph she might have gotten from puzzling that problem out was short-lived because as soon as she'd let go of Heiner, Jenny went into a shivering fit so intense she was unable to fend for herself. With three immense bodybuilders close at hand she was quickly hauled ashore, wrapped in towels and blankets and set into her gurney-chair.

"Well that'll teach me to pick at an old wound," she finally concluded when the shivering damped down enough for her to speak. "That girl must've been wearing a wet suit or something..."

We should note that when Jenny had taken us surfing that day, she was using a wet vest to keep herself warm. Not that anyone ever thought to look for it, but as far as we could tell the vest never did turn up in her car or its utility trailer and it wasn't on her person when they found her. So she was able to keep some mystery about that Surf Angel alive.

"If you kids will look over to the left you'll see the Chrysler Building which is the second tallest building in the world after the Empire State. As kids we used to chuck bottle caps at the wall of that thing till Old Man Chrysler came out and told us to get lost..."

Jenny had recovered from her shivering fit and now was giving our body building friends her tour of the city from the back of Stacy's 'Vista Cruiser' station wagon.

"Because of the small floor plates the Chrysler building makes most of its money renting out to doctors and dentists... One item of note.. When the architect William Van Alen went to collect his fee, Mister Chrysler refused to pay him claiming he'd been taking bribes from the contractors. Van Alen sued and got his fee, but nobody else wanted to hire him.... Let that be a lesson to ya..."

"If you look over to the left you'll see another curiosity of New York real estate... one of the first big skyscraper hotels, the Belmont used to stand there but in the late Nineteen twenties it was torn down to make way for another one hundred storey building. This was just before the stock market crash in 'Twenty-nine. The lot stood empty for a few years till they put up the Airlines Terminal... There's quite a number of places in this city where an early skyscraper got torn down and replaced by a smaller building..."

Our party of revelers had been apportioned amongst three separate cars with N'eddie as the lead in her Cadillac and she'd just ditched us at the light on Madison. Ezzie and Laszlo pulled alongside us in her little Metropolitan while Stacy tried to hail N'eddie on the radio.

"Come on N'eddie, if you're not gonna stay with us at least tell us where you want us to meet!"

"It's a surprise. I'll wait for ya on Sixth..."

"On our right is Five Hundred Fifth Avenue... Was done by the same people who did the Empire State Building... Back in 'Forty-five an Army bomber trying to land at Newark in a fog nearly hit this building but the pilot was able to pull out of the way... unfortunately... his luck ran out when he got to the Empire State Building... slammed right into it... a couple floors below where my granddad keeps a space for entertaining clients..."

At Sixth N'eddie told us some of the boys wanted to see Times Square so we kept going to Broadway.

"Ah... now there's one of my little favorites... Bush Terminal building... Thirty stories on a fifty by ninety foot lot... Up ahead... that may look like a new building going up but that was actually built in Nineteen oh-five... they're remodeling for Allied Chemical... Coming up on Fortieth you can see a couple more lots that used to have skyscrapers on them... the one with the Bond Clothing sign... that was the International Casino... There's a law in New York that says you can only have one bar in a drinking establishment so the architect designed one that went from one floor all the way up a flight of steps to the next... now that's my kind of architect..."

And so our motorcade snaked it way up Broadway, turning at Central Park South to head back over to Fifth before N'eddie finally pulled us over at Fifty-ninth Street behind the Savoy Hotel. She finally announced that our destination for this evening was the Playboy Club.

"Playboy Club? Should taken 'em a nudie bar." protested Jenny. "insteada this clip joint..."

N'eddie tossed Jenny a paper bag that she opened to reveal some walnuts and a nutcracker. That could only mean one thing - someone in Jenny's circle of friends was getting their nuts busted tonight.

"Oh shit... who? Who?"

"Oh... You'll see... You'll see..."

N'eddie presented her company's 'pass key' and whispered something to the greeter before we were led inside.

"You would hafta pick a second storey dive, wouldn't ya N'eddie."

"Oh hush Jenny," we huffed from the steps behind her. "We wanna look at the Bunnies!"

The buxom blonde Bunny that came to take our order looked like she'd swallowed one of them cotton bunny tails whole when she recognized her fellow Amityvillers. Stifling an 'oh shit', she put on her 'so-happy-to-see-you' face.

"Jenny... N'eddie... Ezzie... Stacey... He-e-y-y-y-y!"

This was going to be an epic evening. Jenny spoke first.

"Ash... I thought you said you were gonna do summer stock?"

"Ahh... I still got that stage fright problem.... Anyway... pay's better and so are the hours. How's that job with Drake and Van DeLay going?"

"No changing the subject," N'eddie interrupted. "You know the rules... Jennifer... Present nards!"

"Ja, mein Grüppenführer..."

Jenny drew two walnuts from the bag and handed them to Ashleigh who in turn handed them to Stacey who had the 'honor' of cracking them. Not one to leave us out, she cracked one and gave us the other one.

"You guys sure don't do things figuratively," we noted with relish. "Are we going let the rest of our party in on the fun?"

"I was in that," Stacey added. "Played Audrey I think... If I remember, you puked all over Sylvius just before we were to go on."

"Yeah... Sick isn't it? The one thing I want to do in life and I gotta have bad nerves on account of it. Funny but the only person not sweating that night was Jenny. She's like a natural!"

"Oh... mom used to let me sit offstage when they did shows over at NBC, so I got used to seeing a big bunch of people in front of me. No big deal..."

"Still... I'd sure kill for a pair of your nuts, Jenny."

Jenny proffered the open bag of walnuts but Ashleigh demurred - she was looking for metaphysical nuts. Stacey was still a bit incredulous about Ashleigh's leporine attire.

"Man, we used to talk all sortsa shit about the kind of girls who went into the sex business... what's with the Bugs Bunny get-up?"

"It's really not so bad. Clients can't touch you... not even allowed to ask for your phone number. Pay is ridiculous for the kind of work we don't hafta do... Anyways a lot of show business people come here so it's not like I can't make some connections... Hey, you guys wanna order something?"

"I heard you guys make a mean pepper steak..." For a girl who didn't need a steak dinner at the Kiwanis Club, Jenny sure ate a lot of 'em.

"Hey, isn't that Sean Connery at the next table? Oh geeze don't let him see me..."

Jenny tried to duck behind a menu but it was too late.

"Why as I live and breathe! If it isn't little stage door Jenny!" Turning to his party he elaborated, "That's the girl who saved my neck in..."

"Oh please, I just asked you step out of the way a little... not like you wouldn't seen it coming anyway..."

"Don't be so modest little Jenny! Lemmie tell you what this girl did... This was my first night in New York... she was backstage to cheer Ashleigh on... weren't you a bundle of nerves!"

"Well it was right in the middle of the show and I'm waiting for Ashleigh to come on... and who comes through the door but little Jenny in Ashleigh's costume. She does the lines OK, but all the time she's got me by the arm edging over to stage left hissing 'whatever happens just stay in character'... sure enough this big klieg light comes crashing down right where I'd been standing... ...and this is the topper... Jenny looks at the thing for a moment and looks right at the audience, shrugs her shoulders and says 'Mice!' and finishes the scene like a pro."

"It was just pure luck that I'd been standing under that sandbag..."

"Well you sure saved the show! You know what she did after? She suggested that they leave the light on stage for all the scenes that used that set so it's look like we meant for it that way."

"I just figured as long as the show was ruined anyway, you might as well have some fun for the rest of the night. I'm just sorry I hadda ruin Ashleigh's big night. She had some good lines."

"No... If I'd been standing there, I'da jumped halfway to Bensonhurst if I didn't drop dead on the spot. You saved two people that night..."

Head in hand from embarrassment, Jenny tried to hand the bag of nuts and the cracker to Ashleigh but she wouldn't take it. We ended up taking them to keep the peace and because we were in the mood for some walnuts. Claus and Søren took turns hand-cracking them for us as we finished off the bag.

The rest of the evening was an anticlimax until the Bunny on camera duty showed up to take some Poloroids. Jenny thought it would be a capital idea to have all the bodybuilders pose with their arms out like a shelf and have Ashleigh recline on said shelf, but management demurred - no petting the Bunnies allowed. Jenny really wanted that shot and somehow managed to sweet-talk the floor manager into letting her try on a Bunny suit. As it turns out Bunny uniforms were custom made but they managed to find one close enough to Jenny's size in the rack of pelts recovered from ex Bunnies.

To Jenny's delight she not only got the shot she wanted, she now had a bosom to speak of. Flush with generosity, she even let us squeeze off a couple frames with our Leica for the Panorama wire service - anything to help out her friends. Thus was Lady Desdemona's stint as a Playboy Bunny preserved for the White Metal Cabinet in the Platt family dining room.

"Woulda been nice if they coulda let me keep that outfit," Jenny sighed as we emerged from the Queens Midtown. "That was really flattering to my figure."

"Bet if I slipped them a twenty they woulda let one walk out the door..."

"For such a righteous girl you sure have little faith in the ethical standards of your fellow man", we scolded.

"I know... I just don't like being disappointed in people."

"That's all right Jennums... Anyway... we had to give the floor manager a C-note to look the other way... it's hiding in the glove box..."

Jenny poured herself from her gurney-chair into the back seat to get a closer look at the contraband rabbit skins we'd bagged.

"Oh you guys! Thanks! Oooh, and you got the ears too! Oh Janice is so-o-o gonna shit bricks when she sees me in that!"

Jenny laid across the back seat with her bare feet against the window dreaming of the mischief she'd be getting into soon.

"Too bad we don't live in Philadelphia... I bet I'd get a huge payoff from onea those Mainliner families on account of those pictures you took... Their kind'd think I was walking the streets in that outfit!"

"Y'know you do have a standing invite to that Great Gatsby party at the Drakes..."

"Ehhh... They're one of those 'Progressive' types... Not the kind of thing they'd be bugged by... Anyway with what that wife of his had been doing... Bunny suit'd be small potatoes... Mmm... potatoes... wonder if you can still get Long Island potatoes anymore?"

"You know," Stacey mused. "I haven't thought to look... I think Old Man Sykes still has his farm going... but he's a truck farmer. Not the tubercular type..."

As we blended in with the Worlds Fair traffic, Jenny had one last thought before she went to sleep.

"No," she yawned. "I think those days are gone forever. Wonder how far people will move from The City before they figure out they're living somewhere else?"

Chuckling as he spoke Wil Senior inquired, "You hear about those kids up in Harlem that got sick off that watermelon they found in the river? Oh Lord have mercy... a Got-damned watermelon!"

"I heard about that," Jenny replied. "I really hope those kids make it OK, 'cause that is just too effin' funny. You know my hips have been bothering me a bit too... Oh yeah... that's it..."

"We're kinda disappointed that by the time school starts, everyone'll have forgotten about the whole thing," we opined. "Stupidity that epic is a terrible thing to waste. So what's he supposed to be anyway?"

"He was gonna try and sneak me out in one of sacks they used to bring out the slag... problem was... that the sacks were strictly accounted for..."

"And here I thought you was getting back at me for chasing you around the boys room..."

"You know... I was thinking about that the day before. Supposed there was something Freudian going on?"

"I don't know... I'm more a Jungian myself... none of that blaming mother stuff for me... You're not still sore about that, are ya? I was only eight..."

"Well you don't seem to have outgrown it much..."

"Hey-y-y... you got the air conditioner on!"

Wil Senior cleared his throat to express his disapproval of the direction their converstion was going in, told Wil Junior to put his clothes back on and told Jenny to put down her camera lucida and turn herself over. It was time to do her leg exercises, which largely consisted of her trying to resist against his moving them. It was the same sort of stuff he used to do for the athletic department on the side on account of Jenny's school being too small for him to be teaching science all day all.

"Was talking to Sheriff Misener the other day. Said you were looking to go into the Marines. Way he was beaming about it, you'd think he'd just found a long lost son."

"Sure knock yourself out... You always did like playing doctor... Probably the only kid that ever played doctor hoping he'd find a tumor."

While Wil Junior gave Jenny the twelve point five thousand mile inspection, Wil Senior went upstairs to lend 'technical assistance' to Jen's dad, who was setting up for a family barbecue. This wasn't one of those dinky little hamburger-on-the-Weber affairs, this was an all day cookout with slabs of meat slow-roasting on old oil barrels that had been cut in half and topped with the kind grillage they use in factories and boiler rooms - the way God had intended meat to be cooked.

With the rest of the family making a racket upstairs, Jenny kept to the basement rumpus room getting ready to sketch Bitsey for that painting project of hers. Jenny had poor Bitsey dangling from a climber's harness strung from the ceiling on some piano wire because she wanted to see what unsupported limbs looked like. Ever-so-game Bitsey was willing to put up with all this but Jenny's request to hold a wigmaker's head 'like she's your best friend... and she's still alive' did rate a question.

"What don't you have your friends pose for this? Seems this'd be a job they'd be perfect for..."

"Their heads point the wrong way," Jenny tersely replied. "They can't turn in like I want... Like this... No here... hold her by the wrist... like your hands had been cut off... and try to look more soothing..."

Jenny settled in her chair to make sketches while we took some Poloroids of different lighting scenerios for her to refer to later. Wesley wandered downstairs bearing a few bottles of liquid refereshment from the Rheingold company. Fondness for that brand was the one vestige of his brief relationship with Jenny that he'd retained. That and the wedding gift of a portrait of Janice sitting on a Gothic throne holding his severed head on a pike that Jenny had started to paint with the romantic idea that it would be her holding the pike.

"Love that painting you did for us... shake off morning wood to it when I gotta get up for an early shift... what's this one gonna be?"

"It's a triptych of this nightmare I once had... over here is gonna be a canal with limbs floating down it... up here is gonna be the operating room... gonna paint this all blue like it was a flipped over swimming pool... Hey have you guys got the Lander design finalized yet? I had this idea for a science fiction piece for ParaNorma..."

It seems Jenny's reputation for fault-finding preceded her.

"Now now," Wesley cautioned. "Maybe we ought to hear her out first before we throw in the towel... Whadya got in mind Jen?"

"Basically I'm working on a bait and switch story... I'm calling it 'First Girl on the Moon'... Even got the tag line 'If nothing goes wrong, on April Fourteenth, Nineteen Seventy-two, Miss Jane Percival Lowell will become the first girl on the moon. If nothing goes wrong...' Dun dun dun!"

"Lowell... Isn't that the guy who was lookin' for life on Mars?"

"Yeah Bits... remember when we drove over to his observatory?"

"Yeah I remember... What was that... Fifty-eight? You were summering with that architect... Didn't we go and look at that big moon crater too? You almost done with me?"

"Yeah... I think I got everything I need... Hey Wez, you wanna let her down? Yeah, that actually has something to do with my story... Just toss that in the washing machine... delicates cycle..."

Jenny flipped to a blank page in her sketchbook to lay out a storyboard image while Bitsey changed into her street clothes and tossed the leotard she'd been wearing into the wash. From right to left she roughed out a helicopter with floats coming in for a landing in a bay where a nuclear submarine was berthed. Hoses were coming out from the sub leading to a fire engine. More hoses led from the fire engine to a group of eskimos who were training the hoses on the face of a glacier. Nestled in the ice was a darkish splotch that they presumably were trying to get to.

"An asteroid had hit the planet Mars knocking a big chunk of it into space. One chunk hit the Earth which is what they're going after here... the rest hit the moon... In this scene Jane is flying in a high powered microscope... One of those Electron deals..."

"What for?" Wesley's co-worker was hooked.

"Now I don't wanna say that right away. I'm gonna hold that till the press conference where NASA announce they're adding another moonshot and she's gonna head it. Then I reveal they found what looked like fossilized microbes and they wanna see if they can get a live sample on the moon."

"Moon's an awful hostile environment. How do ya figure a Martian'd survive on that?"

Jenny's been trying to find a venue for that pet virus of hers for a quite a while now. Having laid out the bait, it was pretty obvious what the switch was going to be. Like a good lawyer, we asked her a question we'd already figured out the answer to.

"So what's so important about April Fourteenth, Nineteen Seventy-two?"

"That's when the Titanic hit the iceberg... don't worry, I'm not gonna kill 'em kill 'em... but they've lost the moon. Hey Bitsey, could ya run up to my office and bring me that folder marked 'North American'? It's in the file cabinet..."

As Bitsey trooped upstairs to fetch the folder Jenny remarked, "I was able to get some Service Module plans when I was in California. They were real nice about it too... Anyway I had some questions about the Lunar Module... I want to use it as a sort of lifeboat. Now.. are they gonna have some sort of airlock?"

"No... too much weight," Wesley's co-worker replied. " a lifeboat huh? Really gonna play that Titanic angle? There gonna be some sorta rescue by the Soviets?"

"Nahhh... too corny. They're gonna hafta fend for themselves..." Jenny went back to laying out her painting as she pondered the loss of a key plot point. "Too bad about the airlock... I was gonna have them save the mission by finding a piece of Mars still in orbit while on the dark side of the moon and grabbing it with the airlock but I guess that's out... How much time could you last in the LEM anyway? I mean if you really had to push it?"

"Two day is the max... but that's figuring for two people... if you're gonna have three people in there..."

"Yeah, but this'll be a pure oxygen environment," Wesley countered. "Even with three people you could probably double that time easy..."

"No dice Wez... you'd hafta deal with carbon dioxide buildup... even if you threw in an extra filter you'd still be sunk... hey wait a minute... you didn't completely cripple the command module did you? They gotta use that to get home."

"Did I miss anything?"

Bitsey was still a bit out of breath when she found a spot on the couch next to Jenny. We brought her up to speed as Jenny pored over preliminary Service Module diagrams.

"I gotta shut off the command module for the mission but I gotta be able to turn it back on... What can I kill... What can I kill... What if I kill the RCS? How long do ya think I could keep the Lander attached?"

"You'd hafta kill two separate and completely independent systems in the Command and Service Modules to shut down the RCS and you still haven't killed the environmental and electrical systems. This is gettin' fun Wesley... you wouldn't want a job with Grumman wouldja?"

"Couldn't take the hours... so I guess we're gonna hafta kill the electrical system... So... how do these fuel cell things work again? Can you make one of 'em explode... and do it in a way that cuts off power from the rest of them?"

They mulled that over for a spell till Bitsey pointed something else out.

"Couldn't you blow up one of these tanks? They're so close together, ya hit one and you hit em all."

"Now Bitsey those are oxygen tanks," Jenny scolded. "Do you really think with a part that important, they wouldn't take extra special precautions before sending that to the moon?"

After a pause Jenny concluded, "All right... blown oxygen tank it is... now whadda we gotta do to make it 'splode?"

"We heard some one say all ya needed was a thumbprint to set one off." Well, that's what we heard.

"Gotta be something we can trigger... Oooh.... looks like we found our killer... what's that... a screw pump?"

"That's to keep the liquid oxygen liquid," Wesley noted. "At those temperatures, if you don't stir it up sometimes, you end up with a big old snow cone... "

"Just take a frayed wire... little loose insulation... Wesley... remind me at the next meeting to recommend dropping fuel cells on our ship... Get some really good batteries instead."

"Would be nice to work out how I'm gonna get that rock in the ship..."

"Oh just have one of 'em seal off the command module, open the hatch and grab it," Wesley offered. "That way you get your rock and air out the spacecraft in one go... They can make up for the lost air with some from the moonsuits... So, when do you think you'll get this published?"

"Dunno... only just started hashing this out... gotta run it by N'eddie first... she likes a forty-five day lead for ParaNorma submissions... at least the fiction stuff... It's gonna be a while."

"Think you might want to come up to the plant for a look around? Pretty sure we can get someone from Publicity to square it..."

"I would like the see the mission simulator when they get that ready... had this idea of them coming in for a landing only to find a big ole' snail had gotten onto the map board..."

That got a mild chuckle from the guys.

"Remember when we had to make that go-round at the Cape on account of those alligators making out on the runway?"

"Remember it?" Wesley put his foot on the coffee table to reveal his boot. "I'm wearing the little fuckers!"

As she gathered up her art supplies and that folder of moonship schematics, Bitsey took the opportunity to put in her own request for Jenny's time.

"Uhm... Jen... my friend Brenda is coming up for a visit next weekend. She was bring up some friends of hers... we wanted to work on a business plan for that tour thing I was talking about. Think you might be up to making an appearance?"

"This some sort of investors meeting? 'Cuz I don't have that money yet..."

"No, it's just an informal thing... We were just gonna have drinks up at the country club..."

"Not the 'restricted' one? You know I don't like to go up there. I mighta wanted to bring the twins in on this..."

Somewhat mollified, Jenny made no firm commitments but was amenable to the meeting in principle as we joined the rest of the free-flowing party upstairs. With the exception of Jenny's sick room, which was closed off, the entire first floor was in service for this family gathering. Not only the first floor but so were the stairs up to the half-landing on the way to the second floor - a long time ago ever-so-inventive Jenny had modified a few of those carhop tables so they could be clamped to the banisters for a unique eating spot.

It would get some use today as the weather was overcast with scattered sprinkles whenever the wind came up from the bay and it was always coming up from the bay. Grim and dismal, or 'grismal' as Jenny liked to put it. The Sykes and Jen's dad toughed it out in the yard but everyone else settled in the living room waiting for the meat to be laid out on the dining room table. To keep their stomachs amused there were the usual party snacks - cans of Charles Chips surrounded by little bowls of dip, deviled eggs, celery and cream cheese - the usual assortment.

This being a 'family' gathering the only 'outsiders' besides us was Wesley's co-worker until Jamie pulled up in his truck with her - parking on our side of the double driveway no less. We knew it was inevitable that he'd bring her around to a family gathering but we'd been under the impression he'd at least have the courtesy to wait till Jenny was out of her sick room for good.

We gave him our standard jovial dinnertime greeting, the punchline of an old dirty joke. We could get away with it 'cuz we're twins and everyone thinks we're cute.

"Hey bastard! Shit's on the table! Mom and dad are upstairs fucking!"

Since Jamie was the one who told us that gem he snirked a little. Emily gave us her 'Huh... wha?' look of confusion. We just kept going with the rest of what we had to say.

"Yeah... Jenny's upstairs gettin' cleaned up... She'll be down in a bit... Try not to talk shop Emily, she's actually in a good mood today."

"I'm with him all right? The whole world doesn't revolve around Jenny y'know..."

"Yeah... well ours does... so please... watch it..."

She just threw up her arms and melted into the crowd heading for the dining room. We were about to shout something about there not being any snails to eat when we heard the creaking of the banister behind us. Jenny had done up her hair and put on her 'family-gathering-nice' dress.

"You're gonna love this Jen... The Red-headed One is here... just walked in with Jamie..."

"Gah... Family... can't live with 'em... and I suppose it's really bad form to kill 'em all in their sleep... Ah well... suppose I oughta be leading by example... And I was in such a good mood today..."

Jenny poked her head into the dining room and seeing Emily place in the chow line, doubled back behind the stairs into the kitchen so she could catch her by the 'service' door.

"Hey Emily... figured you'd be more used to seeing me from here... Sorry we couldn't get you any snails but Elizabeth is more of an owl fancier... You should see the cake Janice ordered for her... almost a shame to hafta eat it... You know we hadn't planned on a Kashrut dinner..."

With such a nervous run-on greeting Emily apparently only heard the last sentence.

"That's all right, only my mom is Jewish... and that's only by birth really... What are you feeding the twins?"

"Well they really weren't invited... this was supposed to be family-only... Jamie..."

"Jan and Wez said they were bringin' somebody so I figured one more wouldn't kill anybody."

"Ah well... It's not my party, so I guess I got nuthin' to cry about... wish we coulda used the club house... "

"Uhh, Hey... My mom's throwing a big party next weekend if you wanna come. Some fool went and published her memoirs and for no good reason it's a hit... wouldja believe she's gonna be on Johnny Carson this week?"

"Here... why don'tcha make like cholesterol and line the artery so these people can get by... I'm gonna be doing something else that weekend so I don't think I'm gonna be able to make it... Excuse me..."

The kitchen telephone was ringing right behind her so Jenny reached though the doorway to pick it up. Mumbling her standard 'Mmm-hmmm?', she waited for the other person to speak.

"Speaking... What? Who? Uhm... We're in the middle of a family gathering... Can this wait?"

"Umm... it's a private gathering..." Meaning she didn't feel like you had any business asking for further explanation. She lowered her voice a bit so we missed a few things.

"I really don't like the idea of being 'summoned'... had enough trouble the last time... well... what do you want me to do?"

Long pause and an exhale while the caller explained.

"Do you really want to put yourself through that? I can't think of any possible good that... Well... Well, what would you need me for? Well yeah I have an engineering degree... but that's not my area of expertise... well I do know somebody who might be able to help... Do you really want to put yourself through this?"

We heard the doorknob rattle and stepped out of the way as Jenny pushed it open and looked for Emily.

"You said your mom is gonna be on Carson... You know what night?"

"Monday... Why?"

"Just asking.," she replied before disappearing back into the kitchen to finish her conversation.

Around the time the meat was being brought in, we could hear that Jenny was on the phone with Sheriff Misnener asking if he could give her a ride into the city. Since we hadn't been specifically invited, we figured now would be a good time to make ourselves scarce but we ended up getting buttonholed by Wil Senior, who couldn't resist showing us that the meat was so tender, 'it just walks right off da bone'. With such a testimonial, who could resist?

We found a plate, plucked a few strands of leather and feather and joined Jenny who was in the hall with the kids.

"It's gonna be a fu-u-un Monday," she declared, as she toweled up a trail of barbecue sauce from the stairway wall. "Looks like I'm gonna be on a consulting job for the company... Better have dad leave some forms for me..."

"You gonna watch Emily's mom on Carson? We're bettin' she freezes like an Eskimo Pie..."

"You Germans sure do come up with some of the strangest words... Like that Doppelgänger thing... how many times could that have come up in conversation before someone felt like they had to go and make a word for it?"

"Since you asked... there's actually a mythology about that... if you see yourself out of the corner of your eye it means you're gonna drop dead soon...."

Catching us trying to look at each other she hastily added, "Your other eye... Now... if you want to talk about Schadenfreude... Emily really shouldn'tve worn that strapless thing here... With all these kids around those twins of hers are bound to get a little more sunshine on 'em..."

"Hey Jen... You'll never guess who called me the other day," Janice breathlessly announced. Her dress had straps that'd hold up a Speed Graphic.

"Ohhh... You don't wanna play 'can you top this' with Jenny tonight," we replied. "She just got off the phone with the former first lady..."

She didn't hear us and kept going with her spiel, "Barbara, you remember Barbara? Well she was in the hospital on account of a fire..."

"Yeah I heard about that... I'd meant to send her flowers, but... well... you know... life was makin' other plans for me...."

"It'll do that to ya... Anyway she was asking about you... was wonderin' if you ever got to be an architect. She was kinda mumbly but I think maybe she wants you to do a house for her..."

"I'm taking it day by day right now... how's she doing?"

"She's all right... mostly... she had some sore of a stroke or aneurysm or something. You know how she was into that kinky stuff..."

"Always told her that choking stuff she liked was bad for the arteries... so what... did she just drop dead like that?"

"All she remembers is that she had some sorta sneezing jag and went to the can for a tissue. Did another sneeze and the next thing she knows, she's in the hospital with everybody starin' at her."

"And I thought I had problems... How's Mister Waczinski holding up?"

"Gee, I wish there was something I could do for them... You know... I don't think they ever went to church... but they were probably the truest Christians you'd ever meet... Oooh I think the cake's here..."

Indeed it was. Jenny and Janice greeted the delivery man at the door and helped him tender the unweildy sheet of cake into the dining room. It was quite the thing of beauty - Oliver and Elizabeth Van Der Plaat had been rendered in icing form as the Owl and the Pussycat - their pet names for each other.

We couldn't help asking why they were sitting on a branch instead of a pea green boat. Jenny replied it was on account of Elizabeth being so prone to seasickness that she quite literally trembles at the mere sight of a boat.

Before the cake was apportioned amongst the gathered family, Jenny drew a camera from the White Metal Cabinet to preserve a few images of the cake for posterity. Unpreserved was her little secret about the source of doughnuts in the Drake and Van DeLay break room - the delivery man just had to go and ask Jenny whether they should start saving the day-olds for her again while Emily was visibly within earshot.

If Jenny had been bothered by that little revelation or she even noticed it she didn't show it,. She didn't seem too bothered when Elizabeth pulled Jenny aside with concerns about the posing Bitsey had done for her that afternoon.

"Not that I'm all that thrilled with the idea of my little girl being strung up from the ceiling... even if in the service of Art... or that you're taking liberties towards someone who practically worships the ground you walk on... I'm a little concerned with your state of mind as of late... Have you ever entertained the thought about possibly... maybe... well... seeing an analyst?"

"Oh... that's just for the self-absorbed Gray Flannel crowd over on Madison Avenue... What are they gonna tell me after keeping me on the hook for twenty years or so... that I have an Electra Complex or the usual 'woman fears'? Anyway... I took some psychology courses in college so I know all their tricks... and don't get me started on all them little pills they try to fob off on you..."

"Yesss... the Queen does get rather out of sorts when the Palace guards have to stumble over an Alco 4-6-4..."

"Yeah... well I only do those paintings just to do them... probably end up tossing it in the fire..."

"It's my artwork... I ought to have some say in what I do with it.... besides... I haven't even started the bloody thing..."

"Why would you go through the bother of painting something if you're just going to destroy it when you're done?"

"Why give birth to children when you know they're going to die eventually? I just paint for the intellectual stimulation of the effort - I really don't care what happens to them when I'm done... Anyway, it's not like Bhuddist monks don't destroy their sand paintings once they're done with 'em..."

"What would you want for it? I'll buy it from you."

"I'll give it to you... but I'm not signing it... never could stand those 'name artists'..."

"At least let me float you the cost of materials..."

"That's OK... I special order my painting supplies from the Tuskeegee Institute... They have a chemist there that has all of Doctor Carver's old paint recipes. The man would extract his pigments from just... ordinary dirt! Isn't that something?"

If Jenny had been a scheming woman, the threat of destruction to a 'controversial' painting that hadn't even been started, would've had the desired effect of preserving its existence - but Jenny never could stand for 'feminine' scheming.

That sort of thing was left to Emily this evening who, despite our previous warning about not talking shop, decided to go ahead and mention that Drake and Van DeLay were in preliminary negotiations with the people running Freedomland. It seems the Worlds Fair was killing their business, so they were looking into developing a housing project on the land.

"Oh I'm not making any future plans," Jenny replied as she set out paper plates and Saran Wrap for anyone who wanted to take some leftovers home with them. "Well at least not after this coming weekend..."